I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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