I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
