the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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