So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
whose ass print is on the piano?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
