I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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