Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
