Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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