I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
