I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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