He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
