you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
