I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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