she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want to make out with him forever
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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