The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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