I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
