he puts the penis in happiness.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
