And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
