She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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