can u get pink eye on your cock?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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