so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
