i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
