I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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