we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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