this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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