he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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