My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
