Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
