took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
