my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
