it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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