I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
