with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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