I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
