Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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