And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
