Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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