You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
