the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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