I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
