Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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