The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
