I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
