I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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