So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
