the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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