I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
