i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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