My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
