She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
