Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
