don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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